


Welcome to Sleepy Peak

by River_T_h_am_es



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series), Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Daniel as a newcomer in the town, David as a radio host, Gen, M/M, Sleepy Peak as Night Vale, mentions of Desert Bluffs, mentions of StrexCorp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 13:08:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18011489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/River_T_h_am_es/pseuds/River_T_h_am_es
Summary: Campbell's radio station welcomes you, listeners!Turn on your radio and go camping. Do it! We dare you.





	Welcome to Sleepy Peak

 

A quiet town, surrounded by all sorts of camps where bored campers are desperately looking for something to do. Welcome to Sleepy Peek!

 

Hello, listeners! Let me start this program with good news. A big company has shown great interest in camping activity in our area. Camp Corp. - that's the company – stated that business opportunities here are astonishing. In fact, they are sitting in their office astonished by realization of these opportunities with their mouths split with wide grins. Camp Corp. is ready to invest their money, time and other valuable resources into infrastructure development and popularization of summer camps all over the country and, eventually, all over the world. _'YOUR CAMP WANTS YOU!'_ \- that's what their motto says. Well, it's not _'CAMPE DIEM!'_ , of course, but still! I'm glad to hear this news. The campers will finally get some new tents so they will be able to sleep without their raincoats on, and with proper meal the hunger games will be stopped. I mean, stopped for good. I remind you that the hunger games were officially prohibited last year. Yeah, I remind this for you,  wood scouts!

To the local news. Max Flynn and the Union of Free Campers set the hardware store on fire once again. In the process they were shouting "Say 'no' to mandatory activities!" With that, they grabbed ropes, axes and matches and got lost in the woods. Well, Max. We all know what these things are used for. They're for camping! You fool no one. Now we all know that you LOVE camping! I mean, who doesn't? I, for once, can't live without nature so right now I'm broadcasting from a tent  Station Management generously allowed me to set in our building.

A new Camp Corp. representative has arrived in our town today. His clothes are snow-white, his hair is perfectly blond, and his intentions, as he assured us, are pure and innocent. Oh, oh,  listeners, what do you think? Do I have a chance to become Daniel's friend? Well, yes, the representative's name's Daniel. He said that Camp Corp. has big plans for our town, as well as he has. With that he smiled at me REALLY friendly, and I felt the fluids of future friendship so clearly as if we've been friends for a long time. Intern Gwen is saying something from the next room, one second, listeners... Oh. Well. Well, you know, Gwen! I am able to tell the offering of friendship from... form heat? From heating? Hitting! Oh, nice. Gwen's just said I'm a forest dummy. It's so hard to be the only polite worker on the station sometimes!

To the other news! The Flower scouts, known for their severe demands to members of their camp, lost one of them, a girl named Neancy. During the morning activities that included rough gender stereotyping she shrieked, "I can't do this anymore!" and ripped a handmade wig from her head. Neancy turned out to be a boy named Neil from Science camp. Poor guy got desperate trying to find some convenience, wireless connection and bickers. Oh, cheer up, Neil! With Camp Corp. at the wheel your former camp will definitely afford the best lab possible! Consider coming back! Ehm, I just got the word that Neil has joined the Union of Free Campers. Well, good luck, Neil!

 

And now, Traffic. Buses don't hit people. I repeat – we are all immune to buses. They are not dangerous for us! Cars? May be. Trains? Well... But buses are not.

BUSES. DO. NOT. HIT. PEOPLE.

This has been traffic.

 

A few local camps have already become Camp Corp. wards. Theater camp, Science camp and Magic Camp have received new equipment, new uniform for their campers as well as precise instructions on how to arrange camp activities and collective events. Camp Corp. pays a lot of attention to team building and encourages their pupils to be perfect in everything. And – no negative emotions! An interesting image they use here to get the campers together, this idea of the .. the Smiling god? Well.. I think, it's cute! Although it sounds a little bit pompous, I'm sure it has been made with the best intentions! After all, all the campers in Camp Corp. camps are diligent, tidy and obedient. They look happy, they ARE happy, they constantly repeat how much they love their counselors.. what else to dream about?

And now – the Community Calendar. On Monday we have a performance with bears from Circus Camp. Tuesday – Theater Camp sets a play at the City Hall. On Wednesday there is a play for bears by Circus Camp and on Thursday – bears set a play for Theater Camp. Friday – Behavior Correction Camp! Stay at home! We may be immune to buses, but knives can  kill you. Saturday and Sunday – that nasty dangeon party you want to forget about but will never be able to. That has been the Community Calendar.

Max Flynn and the Union of Free Campers demanded a whole pack of books from the city library. Among other things, they asked for a few 'Lord of the flies' books. As free brother Neil explained, the Union is in great need of any didactic materials at the moment.

Dear listeners, you sure do remember  Daniel, Camp Corp. representative who arrived to our town with his colleagues. So! Daniel and me have been in touch ever since. We really get along! Don't get me wrong, all Camp Corp. workers are nice and friendly people, sometimes very much so... But Daniel is different. He smiles in a different way, at least, when he talks to me. And he is talking to me right now, because he is standing behind the glass door to my tent studio and is writing some kind of note for me... Wait. Oh. Oh! That's so sweet, he's drawn hearts all over the sheet of paper! Well, I think I can officially declare Daniel as my friend. Intern Gwen is saying something to Daniel, and... and he's getting sad and putting his drawing away and he's WALKING away, Gwen! Gwen, I won't let you hurt my friend's feelings! I know, you may be jealous but please behave! Gwen is telling me – I'm reading her lips  – to "stop mocking this tow-haired psycho and stop being so dumb!" Gwen, that's beneath you. We'll talk later, but first I will find Daniel and apologize for your childish behavior!

The Flower scouts decided to get rid of another girl. This time it turned out to be  Nikki, our beloved wild child. The Flower scouts explained that Nikki didn't fit their standards and brought unpleasant chaos in their everyday life. Nikki  didn't seem to be upset by this decision. "Ah, who cares," she said and then bit my leg, what, the thirteenth time this year? Honestly, Flower scouts, for shame! The Union of Free Campers has already expressed the desire to have Nikki as their new member. Max, while I don't appreciate the rules and main principles of your illegal alliance, I can't help but admire the way you attract new recruits to your organization. Oh, I wish you used your talents for something more honorable and decent!

Bonquisha from trailer 69 declared that she is not going to keep her dog away from the Dog Park. "What my dog does is his own business, now get the hell out of here!" With that, she slammed the door in front oh the Hooded Figures (or should I call them 'Hoodied" now since they changed their outfit?) The Hooded Figures  were definitely puzzled and stood at her door for a while before leaving, still being puzzled. I admit, the Hooded Figures disappointed me last year when they gave the Best Radio Host Award to... well, to someone who wasn't ME! I was puzzled back then as well, you know!

I remind you that dogs are not allowed to the Dog Park. People are not allowed to the Dog park. We all are not allowed to any park because our town is surrounded with nature, and visiting parks instead would show great disrespect to the forest. And, besides, we don't have any parks! You can't go into something if it doesn't exist. Or can you? No, you can't! Or can you?...

Dear listeners, there's Max Flynn outside my studio door. Judging by his gestures, he's asking me to let him in. Well, no way, Max! I won't let you in here again! Last time you destroyed my equipment, and new mics ARE expensive, if you do remember about the station financial situation! Max is getting red from fury, he's pulling his hair and, it seems, growling from anger. Well, that's it Max, there's no way I let you in in such condition. Mind your manners! Oh, Max put some kind of paper to the glass. Well... I think, I can come and read whatever he wants me to know about. “Citizens of Sleepy Peak, you got your asses in trouble. Camp Corp. is not interested in your camps, they don't give a shit about tourism or business opportunities! Camp Corp. is a cult that will wash your brain and make you work for their corporation for free and destroy everyone who's against them! Join the rebellion against Camp Corp.! Bring down their offices and camps! Listen to our words until this dumbass reads whatever we bring to his door! Who knows, he may be replaced by Camp Corp. anytime soon!' Hey! What is it supposed to mean? "Replaced?" Max! Maaax? Oh, dang, he's gone.

A group of the Flower scouts separated  form the rest after what they called "Neancy accident". "I can't stand the thought of him thinking of me as of an ignorant cunt as any of these stupid chicks! I'm not stupid! I'm sharp!", Tabii ( with two I) said, well, shrieked in my ear. "Yeah, and I hate that everybody in here just hate statistics and nudge me into pleasing them with pretending that I'm OK with my haircut when I'm actually hiding my heterochromia", Erin added. 'Whatever, if it gets me new followers on  Instagram, I'll do it", Sasha said without looking away from her cellphone, from its front-camera, to be more specific.

The wood scouts, who can't tell one tree from another, got their own radio station with their own program. It broadcasts only on their side of the lake, so the only one able to listen to it are themselves. Mostly, it's just Edward Pikeman saying why you – yeah, you! - must join the wood scouts. "You better do it know," Pikeman says, "do not force us to use force!" Well, Pikeman. You sound just like someone from the Cheesecake Factory here.

Oh! Unless I forget, again: our beloved mascot platypus Platypus is a momma now! Each and everyone of you can get an egg for yourself and enjoy  touching process of incubation in full measure! Seriously, just take them, please. I can't watch Platypus devouring her children anymore.

To the local announcements. The Quartermaster is looking for his lost prostetics. Just so you know: we have nothing to do with that! And we never did, because our financial management is GREAT! The full list of missing prostetics can be found at Muffin Tops reception.

Listeners, I can't wait to share the news about wonderful friendship between me and Daniel. We see each other almost every day. First time Daniel asked me for a drink – he said he had something _really_ special to drink... But I didn't have time, and then, it seems, he changed his mind about drinking this special thing, but I don't mind because we walk around town a lot when we both have free time. Daniel plays the violin! He also likes cooking and  he  likes Xemüg, I haven't met him yet, but I do hope Daniel will bring him with him one day! A friend of Daniel is a friend of mine! I hope Xemüg likes camping... Well, Daniel is not that eager to answer my questions about Xemüg, but one should respect other's right to be cryptic! I, for once, will not tell anyone about me saluting to Campbell's radio station flag for half of an hour every morning. Everyone has his own secrets! Even Daniel. Oh, he's so  flawless! I mean, he's  so... _neat_! As well as the rest of Camp Corp employees, Daniel wears white uniform. Actually, it's _snow_ -white. I always feared that I would smudge it one day so I tried to keep some distance between me and Daniel during our walks... But yesterday he took my hand and... and I smudged his hand with tree pitch and fire soot. Listeners, I have never been that ashamed in my entire life! Terrified, I tried to clean Daniel's hand and spoiled his sleeve! When I saw that, I covered my face with my hands, and my face got dirty as well, it was horrible! But Daniel didn't get mad or laughed at me, he just smiled and said that he got bored with his uniform anyway. After that, he thoroughly wiped the dirt from my face. Daniel asked me what I was going to do in the evening, and I said that I usually name all trees I can remember – as well as any Sleepy Peak citizen does. Daniel asked what I would do after that. I said that I would go to sleep. Daniel asked if I would go to sleep alone. I said that - of course not! Daniel said, "oh" and saddened. I hurried to explain that, as many of us, I got used to sleep with a log since I was a child. Daniel said, “Oh”, once again, in a confused way. Then, he said, “Oh!” in a relieved kind of way. I think, his reaction is completely understandable. Daniel doesn't know that much about our customs and traditions! Well, that's why I offered him to pick a night so we could name trees together. He was so embarrassed, he coughed and looked away, I think, he's not ready for this yet. It's okay, I can wait!

Max Flynn and the other campers, declaring war on Camp Corp., set one of their offices on fire. Answering my question on why they did it, Max said, “Because fuck them!” Well! We'll continue to watch  this situation, meanwhile, Max – watch your language!

News from Camp Corp.! The company is now a formal owner of Campbell's radio station. I'm excited and worried at the same time. Well... I think, I think it's great! Our budget has been running low lately, the only money we've had was enough for platypus Platypus' feed at best. But I can't help but be stung by Camp Corp. workers' reaction to our salute logo, the one that is represented on our badges and t-shirts. They said that this gesture is shocking them or they are shocked, I can't remember their words exactly, but I do remember I didn't like them. Hm.

To the culture news! The splinter group of the Flower scouts, now known as _Las Diablitas_ , decided to do their bit in positive representation of girl scouts in media. As the youngest drug dealers they have all chances for success! Their instagram is something, I'm looking through it right now, it's really bold and cute! Unfortunately, not everybody can enjoy these photos and stories. As you might know, the Wi-Fi is available at the Flower scouts camp and on Sleepy Peak peak only. The Secret Police foster-child, Meredith, commented on it, “Cool.” She added, “ It's really cool at day time and freezing at night at the mountains. I don't wanna get sick because of their sick Instagram.” _Las Diablitas_ accused Meredith in double standards, and in response she  showily straightened her hair by just shaking her head, getting another hundred of new followers.

Listeners, I want to share with you news about Daniel. Well, it's not news exactly... Let me explain! As you know ( or will know from now) I write fanfiction. Intern Gwen rolled her eyes just the way he did when I showed her my fanfiction. It's not very polite of you, Gwen! So, I decided to show it to Daniel. Gwen, I don't know if you're laughing or howling but please stop, it's distracting! So, listeners, I'm worried whether Daniel would like my fic or not. What will he think about this chapter where the hedgehog is falling out with the owl? I put “angst” in trigger warnings, but what if Daniel wouldn't like it?.. FUNfics are supposed to be  fun! Ehm, listeners, I have to leave the studio for a second because Gwen is having a seizure.

News from Camp Corp. Its representatives claim that Fantasy camp on the lake Lilac doesn't exist because they haven't found the declared castles, dragons and larping in there. This caused big distress for its only camper, Nerris the Cute. "Maybe they don't have enough mana to  see my camp", she hissed through her brackets. Well, Camp Corp, it's not very cute of you! Oh, Gwen has just thrown me a note, “Stop berating our management, idiot! They'll cut down the money for Platypus!” Oh, yes. That's what they do. Camp Corp. really like _cutting_. All what they do is cut up, cut down, cut in and cut off. No, Gwen, I'll say what I think! Listeners, please, don't get me wrong. I LOVE smiles. I'm all _for_ smiles and fun, and you know that because it was you who tried to beat me when I was the only one cheering downpour that lasted for three weeks. But! But. I'm _against_  any coercion here. I mean – physical coercion, I'm talking about hooks for mouths, about this terrible cuts! Listeners, I'll do everything in my power for you to smile willingly, even if it is a smile of cruel mockery. But I'll never, never support these hooks and cuts. Gwen is looking at me silently, and I see something opposite to cruel mockery in her eyes.

Listeners, I'm really worried about Daniel. What's with all this noise? Gwen, could you close the door, please? Thank you! So. As you know, we've been seeing each other a lot. Lately I felt as if Daniel was about to tell me something, and yesterday he asked me if I had heard about a town in the desert called... Desert Bluffs? Fluffy Deserts? Who knows all these towns in deserted areas! I don't know about you, but I'm not fond of such places. There are no trees, shade or mosquitoes in there, so I get disoriented and frightened to tears. Literally. That's what I told Daniel. He smiled sadly and said that he had expected me to react that way. He asked me if I had heard about StrexCorp. then. I said that I knew only Camp Corp. to which he replied that it is one and the same thing. This is one and the same company with a smiling face behind which hides an ancient evil and an insatiable corporation, ready to squeeze all the juice from its employees. Literally. I said to Daniel that this is terrible! I said that the ancient evil must be stopped with forces of good, and corporate culture must have its limits! Daniel nodded dolefully and said that was why he told me about everything. With that, he hugged me, kissed my forehead and left, and I'm feeling out of place ever since, and now he isn't answering my calls and he isn't texting me back! Do you hear that? What is all this thunder? Listeners, you know I always try to have a positive look on things, but I can't help but make some conclusions! I'm sure, Daniel is in trouble because he shared secret information with me, and now I'm sharing it with you all, oh, Daniel! You sacrificed yourself for us all! Oh my gosh, what should I do? Oh, Gwen just pushed a note under my door and gesticulated, saying that she's going outside. She looks very excited, well, oh, the note is from Daniel! One second, listeners. “Citizens of Sleepy Peak, you can defeat Camp Corp. by destroying the purification saunas in each  camp. Do it, and you'll save yourselves. I know you're reading it on air, David. And I know another thing for well. I want to tell you it personally so you'll know it too. Please, stay safe. Daniel.” Oh my gosh, what should I do?! Gwen! Gwen? Listeners, the noise from the street is getting louder with every second, but... you know? I don't care, I've already made a choice between my duty as a radio host and my heart! So I'm leaving the studio and go to find Daniel meanwhile you  listen to the Farmer Almanac for year 1983!

 

...

 

Dear listeners, David is back with you. Yes, yes, I've survived this mad uprising as well as the rest of you, and I'm glad to confirm that Sleepy Peak and all our camps have been freed from Camp Corp. Daniel's message worked! Camp Corp. representatives have been beaten by the Quartermaster with all his prostetics, pricked with all the flower scouts' needles and pins, and the Hooded Figures are still following them on their way out of town, plunging them into shock and confusion. The purification saunas in all our camps have been destroyed by Union of Free Campers under the leadership of Max Flynn. 

You know, listeners, I'm always confused when it comes to Max. As I said before, I'm generally conflicted with his behavior! But now, now I  have to admit that Max was right and he had all the reasons to behave this way. He was right about Camp Corp. And he used my oblivious voice to translate his worries and suspicions and instructions so they can reach you, dear listeners. And I want to say that I'm sorry, Max. I always try to see the good in things and I try to get others to do the same. But pretending that things are OK when your mouth is split wide with iron hooks to please the ancient ones doesn't help anything.  I was wrong when I ignored your warnings.

As you know, most of the free campers were dropped in our town from a vague, yet menacing, Government Agency's invisible helicopters, some as babies, some as teenagers. Oh, I remember the day little Max fell from the sky. I remember it well. By golly, the vocabulary of our town was instantly enreached. I caught him in my arms, and he kicked me, screaming to let him go, he was only ten! oh, he was adorable. We all took good care of these fallen kids, you know, but I think Max will always be my favourite. I mean, he was always so difficult to have around! As well as any other kids assigned to the Campbell's station for to be looked after, Max spent 3 years studying the art of hiking, biking and other fun activities we can't live without. Well... he wasn't the most diligent, but he definitely was the most challenging! And look at him now! He is standing proudly outside my studio, flipping me off and saying that I'm a sappy moron, and I can finally quote each of his words without any corrections or actually using bad language! Oh, Max! I'm so proud of you! You've gone so far! Oh. I shouldn't be crying on air, should I?..

The free campers, as well as the others not so free but not so enslaved, are going to celebrate the victory at Pizza Bros. But! Only after they put out the forest fire they caused. I know, I know, kids, but let's take care of nature. The celebration is going to last until morning, or even longer, as Nikki has said - quote “If I don't burst” end quote.

 

I'd like to tell you what happened between me and Daniel during the uprising! As you remember, I left the studio and rushed to find him in the streets. Oh, you can't imagine the chaos that was going on there! Campers, citizens, Camp Corp. representatives were fighting each other, mistaking one for another, and I was hit a couple of times by both parties. Because of all the smoke, sounds of bugles and battle cries of all kinds it was hard for me to find the right direction, but I managed to find Daniel in the small forest  near our radio station where we used to walk. I had never been happier to see him, I.. I just ran to him and hugged him. He hugged me back and smiled a relieved smile that turned sad. When I asked him what was wrong, he said, “Now when you know who I worked for, you probably will not want to be my friend anymore.” And I said him that it wasn't true! I said, “ Daniel, you sacrificed your own safety for the town and all the citizens! You're a hero!” Daniel blushed and said it was nothing. We were standing side by side, watching at the fire in the town and Camp Corp. representatives running from there. I asked Daniel about what he was going to do next. Deep inside I was afraid that he would follow his colleagues... That he would regret his decision, it's his work, his career, after all, and I respect his choice whatever it is! That's what I told him, and my voice wasn't shaking, although I wanted so badly to ask him to stay so I could show him all my favorite camping places and sing him all my favorite songs. Daniel said, “David, I won't work for Camp Corp. any longer. I've thrown away my hooks. I don't need any smiling gods, I have another reason to smile now.” And... listeners, Daniel looked at me with his piercing blue eyes, and there were gleeful whoops behind his back, and smoke from the fire was curling above his head, and although his clothes weren't as neat and tidy as on the day we met, I realized that it didn't matter, because Daniel is wonderful and perfect as he is. I kissed him and felt that I was burning inside with all the surging feelings. Then I understood  that it was not only my emotions but also the forest around us that started to burn. We ran from the fire, holding each other's hand all the way to town.

 

So, listeners! Everything ended well! We're all safe and sound, maybe a tad smoked, but I try to find a positive side in it and pretend that it's just a big holiday bonfire! Oh, Daniel just texted me. “Come home, and I'll show you a new way to name trees before sleep.” Well... it's intriguing! I think I really should go home now.

Stay tuned next for Stephen van Petrol naming all three bugs he knows two hours straight.

 

Good night, Sleepy Peak, and Campe Diem!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Today's proverb: I hope you liked it. We all are dreamers, after all.


End file.
